Actually, despite everyone seemingly being in love with them, I do not care for Oscar Mayer wieners. They are too fancy for me. I take my wieners cheap, kept in some guy’s stand, soaking in tepid water half the day and made of lips and butts. That’s how I like ’em.

But this post isn’t about wieners. As usual it’s not about much of anything, but I suppose it could partially be about being a better writer. Because I do wish I was a better writer.

Work continues on THREE DARK CROWNS 2, and some days, it goes okay. Other days, I stare at my screen and ask who the hell taught me to string two sentences together. The answer? Nobody! Nobody fricken taught me how, because I can’t, and it sucks, and I’m going to burn this mother down.

Even when it’s good, I’ll read it back and think: hmm. Not terrible. Pretty decent, even. But it isn’t THAT good. It’s not like, Marcus Sedgwick good. Not Caitlin Kiernan good. Not (insert a hundred other writers’ names here) good.  Sometimes, I’ll read through something I wrote and be horrified. Like, I-wish-someone-would-drag-me-out-into-the-street-and-beat-me-with-it-until-I-repent horrified.

But I don’t always feel that way. Occasionally I can read my old stuff and enjoy it as if I wasn’t the one who wrote it at all. When the writing is good, that’s how I usually feel. Good writing takes me out of the equation completely.

I will always push to be as good as so-and-so, and come up short. It’s the only plan I have to continually get better. I’ll try new methods. Different styles. This is what I remind myself when the self-critic says I ought not be in this business and puts a cigar out on my head.

Anyway, we finally watched IT FOLLOWS last week and while Dylan did not enjoy, I recommend it. It was annoying, but that was sort of the point, and the idea of being followed in that way managed to make it hard for me to sleep. I count that a win. Still not as good as The Babadook, though.

And speaking of movies, it’s weird how one can go from intense fear and dislike of raptors in Jurassic Park to intense love and devotion to them in Jurassic World. In Park, I begrudged them eating even that gimpy kid, and I was totally with Muldoon. Shoot her. Shooot….heer! And then came Blue and I want to put a bonnet on her and move her in with Ma and Pa Ingalls.

P.S., can anyone tell me how to feel about Jared Leto’s Joker? Because I just. Don’t. Know. Must see more.