Today, is my birthday. It is also French Bastille Day, and the birthday of the excellent author Kevin Emerson (EXILED), so happy birthday to him, me, and whatever the French are celebrating. The quote today, “squeeze the juice” is from Encino Man, which I never really watched, but Dylan has been quoting for weeks. “Time to squeeze the ju-uuce! No, no squeezing the juice! Squeeze the juice.” I don’t even know what the juice is, let alone if one should or should not squeeze it.

I don’t want to work today. So I may have gotten bored and updated my Goodreads biography using lyrics from 80’s and 90’s sitcom theme songs. I really wanted to get The Golden Girls in there, possibly the lines “traveled down the road and back again” but I couldn’t manage it. I did however, manage seven others, and that’s not too shabby.

The Mortal Gods tour is pretty much finalized, and I will be in NYC, Chicago, Lansing, Michigan, St. Paul, MN, Los Altos, CA, Portland, OR, Lake Forest Park, WA, and Baton Rouge, LA for sure. A few more stops may be added.

When I return from the road, there should be a new, Doberman baby waiting for me. We just heard from the breeder following an ultrasound, and our new dog-daughter or son on her or his way. I miss being a dog parent very much. Way back in the day, while my atrocious boyfriend was out wherever doing atrocious things, my dog-daughter and I used to sit home and drink wine (me, not her. Too young.) and read philosophy. I highly recommend drinking wine and reading philosophy with your dog. It’ll turn you into a guru for two hours.

You can do it with cats, but they’re already mainlining the truth of the universe like little Rustin Cohles, so instead of being encouraging they look at you like you’re a slightly lackluster infant.

Anyway, soon-to-be-no-longer-secret project 3B calls.

Stuff I’m reading: The Ape’s Wife and Other Stories by Caitlin R. Kiernan (read “Hydraguros” yesterday. Excellent.) And BETWEEN THE SPARK AND THE BURN by April Genevieve Tucholke. Fantastic so far.