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The Great Slasher Girls & Monster Boys ARC Giveaway

SLASHER GIRLS ARCs have arrived! Our fearless anthology leader April Genevieve Tucholke is giving some away, and when giving things away, why not have fun with it? Ways to enter are below. Entries will be selected by some of the anthology contributors; perhaps me, or Cat Winters, or Megan Shepherd, or Nova Ren Suma, or some of the many, many fantastic writers with stories in this fantastic anthology. I personally can’t wait to see your creepy side.

Here’s the giveaway post, direct from April’s website:

The Great SLASHER GIRLS & MONSTER BOYS ARC Giveaway

(US-Only, ends Monday, May 18)

HOW TO WIN:

We want to see you at your creatively slashiest. Show us your macabre side and post a pic of something scary to Instagram or Twitter, under hashtag #SLASHERGIRLSARC

SCARY PIC SUGGESTIONS:

1. Hold a seance

2. Read a horror story in a cemetery

3. Recreate a horror scene from film/tv

4. Play light as a feather, stiff as a board

5. Say Bloody Mary 3 times in a mirror at midnight

6. Show us your Slasher boyfriend/girlfriend/platonic friend–Pinhead, Freddy, Xenomorph Queen…

7. Draw a chalk outline of a body on a sidewalk. Possibly yours.

SUPER SPECIAL ENTRY: Dig your own shallow grave. Anyone who goes to this much trouble will be placed in their own pool, i.e. your chances of winning are extremely good. Shallow grave guidelines: Be safe about digging. We’ll not be responsible for bodily injury due to spade mishaps, digging near power/gas lines, or digging on a too hot day, etc. Keep it safe, keep it shallow. On a beach, perhaps. Or in your garden.

Enter the giveaway as many times as you want (but dig your grave only once).

The Special Pool entries will be given priority.

And don’t let us hinder your slashy creativity. If you have other ideas, let’s see them! Tweet us your fave horror quotes! Show us your…scary dogs? Just keep it legal. And don’t forget to RT and use the hashtag #SLASHERGIRLSARC

(US-Only, ends Monday, May 18)

Updates to the website, or Kevin! Bake on! We’re still going to need that celebration cake.

Get it? Kevin? Bake on? Kevin Bacon? It was my favorite gag in Dreamworks’ Penguins of Madagascar, which I watched this weekend, because Dylan loves penguins. Oh how he loves them. I’m running out of penguin-related knickknacks to buy him for his birthdays. Anyway, the octopus, voiced by John freaking Malkovich, snuck in a celebrity name whenever he addressed his octopi minions. Kevin, bake on. Nicholas, cage them! Elijah, would you hand me my death ray?

Also watched this weekend: Birdman (finally!) and it was just as imaginative and delightfully odd as I’d hoped. Exodus: Gods and Kings (I was on Ramses’ side, and what was Sigourney Weaver doing in that movie besides a whole lot of nothing?), and American Beauty, because Dylan hadn’t seen it. Performances aside, it has not aged well.

By this rampant string of movie watching, you may infer that I am in fact in between books. I have one more Goddess War story to write, which I will begin tomorrow (it’s about Artemis!), and copyedits for my Violent Ends story got done today, also edits will be happening for Three Dark Crowns, but the point is, I don’t have to start another actual brand new book until like….June. And then my summer will disappear behind this computer screen.

For now, I’m whiling away my days playing Dragon Age: Inquisition and formulating workshops and presentations for events I’m doing this spring. For more info, see the updated Events page. And I’m going back to Thunder Bay, where Cas and Anna are from!

Speaking of UPDATES: Also, see the updated pages for Ungodly, the anthologies, and a placeholder for Three Dark Crowns, all created by the lovely Rachel Silberman. And I updated my bio. It’s not as interesting, I don’t think, but I guess that whole “I like rare red meat and veganism” thing was confusing, and I was going to catch heat eventually for reading Ayn Rand, even if reading her is not the same as agreeing with her philosophy. So go on, and have a poke around, if you like. I’ll wait.

Great, you’re back. I missed you. Did you see that The X-Files is returning? I haven’t been this excited since Floyd Mayweather said he would fight Manny Pacquiao. When I heard the news, I started shouting, “Mulder and Scully are returning? Mulder and Scully are returning!” Joyfully, like Kathy Bates does in Fried Green Tomatoes when she learns that Mrs. Otis has died.

You are all too young to get that reference.

Tybalt’s Thoughts on THE WINNER’S CURSE

So, recently, my cat son Tybalt has become very excited about a particular book. Not one of mine, of course, they’re his mother’s books, and he thinks those are lame, except when I put him in them. No, the book he won’t shut up about is THE WINNER’S CURSE by Marie Rutkoski.

I’m sure you’ve all heard of this intriguing trilogy, the story of Kestrel, the daughter of a high-ranking General in the Valorian Army, and Arin, the Herrani slave she purchases at auction. If you haven’t heard of it, you should, and you obviously don’t live with my cat son, because I hear about it daily, no matter how many times I say, “yes, Tybalt, I read it, too, and I loved it.” He keeps on, and on, and it’s worse now that the sequel, THE WINNER’S CRIME, is almost out (MARCH 3rd! He yowls daily. MARCH 3rd!)

Just look at his The Winner’s Curse-loving face:

That’s his face when he REALLY likes something. Conversely,

This is his face when he thinks something is only….okay.

Anyway, he (we) wanted to commandeer the blog today to lay out some of his (our) favorite things about the book that’s way better than his mother’s books. (Very nice, son.)

1. Kestrel. She’s remarkable. Complicated and with real convictions, and we loved her relationship with her horse, Javelin. No, Tybalt, you may not have a horse named Javelin. One thing we particularly liked about Kestrel, this girl who faces a hard life choice (to join the army, as her father wants, or to marry, the only two choices for a girl of her rank) is her strategic mind. She knows her faults, and her strengths, and she knows everyone else’s too. She has blind spots because of her position in society, and because of a certain boy, (who, yes, Tybalt, we’ll get to in a minute) and it felt very real. A good heart gives you blind spots, no matter how clever you are. It’s a virtue, and a vulnerability. And Kestrel has a very good heart.

2. Arin. So much more to Arin than meets the eye. Once you come to know his story, his history, the discipline he shows throughout the book is nothing short of AMAZING. Tybalt wanted me to type “amazing” and that’s a pretty accurate word for Arin. He also requests that I change his name to Arin, and that all future male characters I write be named Arin. To which I say, No, dammit! Arin is copyrighted, and Marie Rutkoski probably wouldn’t appreciate it.

3. The military strategy and the conqueror culture. I was more into this part than Tybalt was, but he was still quite fascinated by the expansive culture of the Valorians, which led to many discussions of Alexander the Great, the Romans, and a re-watch of Spartacus: Gods of the Arena.

4. The You-Guys-Are-So-Screwed Factor. Because no matter how much you want Kestrel and Arin to hug it out, those hugs don’t come easy. From the outset, they are separated by their motives and their place in the world. Kestrel is a master. Arin a slave. Kestrel is a conqueror Valorian, who must marry a Valorian, or go away to war. Arin is a Herrani, the conquered, the subjugated, and an entirely unfit match as friend or lover. By the end, Tybalt was rolling about on the carpet, because he couldn’t see how their stars could align (and also because he had an itch and needed a nap from staying up so long reading), and I was, too (though I had no similar excuses).

To summarize, on March 3rd, he and I will be poring over our new copy of THE WINNER’S CRIME! Ouch, he bit me. He has no teeth, but it still smarts. Apparently he gets a copy of his own.

You should snag one too, wherever books are sold.

Room 237

Two nights ago, I awoke from a dead sleep to the sound of a chime. The very familiar chime of an elevator arriving. There is no elevator in our house. I woke Dylan, to see if he could hear it, and when he could, went to investigate. Turns out it was a short in our doorbell, that made it charge up and emit just one, rather dead-sounding ding. And I was so sure it was the elevator from the Overlook Hotel, finally arriving.

I mention this because it genuinely freaked me out. I was so positive I would go into my living room and find several decaying corpses with noisemakers and party hats, ready to get down. They weren’t there, but it was still fun, probably because Dylan was there. Had I been by myself, it would have still been fun, but the kind of fun that is followed by staying awake all night long.

I never used to truly enjoy being spooked out. I wonder if it’s a side effect from writing so much dark stuff.

Completely unrelated: What did the Wachowskis do to Channing Tatum in Jupiter Ascending? He looks like Mugatu from Zoolander. Can you not see it?

Come on, they’re at least cousins.

Anyway, my life as a doberman’s body pillow continues, but today he’s going to have to face some tough realities, as I’m back to work in earnest on Three Dark Crowns. Last month, I managed to complete the short stories I needed to complete, and I actually like them all. Made it through two sets of edits for them also. But ThreeD (Three Dark Crowns, formerly 3D) needs to get to its turn-in-able (word? No? Fine, but I’m keeping it) draft by February 16th. I have high hopes. It’s all too easy, in my head.

Alas, my head, is probably in my ass.

Next week, on the 28th at 7pm, I get to hang with Susan Adrian on her tour for TUNNEL VISION (just released!) at University Book Store (U-district, Seattle). The always excellent Lish McBride will be there, too. Come on down!

The Little Insect Was Just Waiting For The Diaper To Fall Off

The title is a quote from Three Men and a Baby. It’s been a poignant quote for me for the last two weeks, since we welcomed Obi Dog Kenobi into our house and he proceeded to pee on everything. Yes, I love him, and yes, he is my dog-child, but do I call him a little insect? Of course I do. It was funny to me when Tom Selleck said it to that baby and it is no less funny to me when I say it to Obi Dog now.

He’s also much of the reason I’ve been absent from…well, everything. And the reason that the catsons are fighting with each other, because Tybalt loves Obi but Tyrion does not, and the reason this blog post will continue with bullet points to save time.

Here’s what I’m (supposed to be) working on, aka, stuff that’s coming soon:

-a short for Shaun David Hutchinson’s VIOLENT ENDS, an anthology featuring pieces revolving around the same high school shooting

-a short for Jonathan Maberry’s SCARY OUT THERE, an anthology exploring what horror is for teens

-a short for the third volume of Jonathan Maberry’s upcoming X-FILES Anthology

All the news I’ve got that’s shareable:

–SLASHER GIRLS & MONSTER BOYS, featuring my story “On the I-5”, has a release date of August 18, 2015

-galley orders for UNGODLY are going in, but no cover or release date yet. It is pretty much written and edited though

-I am a guest, along with Lish McBride (FIREBUG) on Susan Adrian’s tour for her debut, TUNNEL VISION, at University Bookstore in Seattle (U District) on January 28th at 7pm

Reminder: if anyone is looking to buy one of my books for that special someone (or their special selves, why not?) signed copies are probably still available to be shipped from any of the bookstores I stopped at on my tour. Due to inquiries, they are still up on my events page, and will remain there until after the holidays. If you want a signed book, it would be a good way to go. Cheaper than buying and shipping to me to sign, and also supporting the awesome indie stories I toured at. Thanks to anyone who orders!

Final Reminder that shouldn’t even be a reminder:

Don’t buy ivory trinkets. Apparently, terrorist and non-terrorist poachers alike are hunting down African elephants and cutting off their faces while they’re still alive, and I like Dumbo so this angers me. We can stop a lot of this by simply not buying ivory. The US is still a major importer of ivory, which I find weird. Who the hell is buying it? If I’m in a shop, and suspect something is made from ivory, I will inquire, and if the answer is yes, I won’t shop there anymore.

Not buying ivory. It seems like an easy thing to do. Of course if you want to do more than simply not buy, check out this website.

So the YA Scream Queens are dead.

They’re all dead. Is it really that important to find out who did it? I mean, they’re dead. And maybe I did it and maybe I did do it and maybe I killed them all, or none or something. But did you ever consider that there are far more likely suspects in the YA realm? Like April Genevieve Tucholke. Who makes her admission here! Or she should because she’s obviously guilty. She seems very kind, and very sweet. But she’s got a lot of rage. I’d lay odds they’ll find a lace veil under one of the bodies, and April has lots of those. Delightful, gothic, creepy ones.

Or, I did see Delilah S. Dawson taking copious amounts of notes on mass and serial murder vs. spree killing a few weekends ago. She probably spree killed the whole lot. Get the authorities over to her page immediately!

Then again, maybe just go to the YA Scream Queens and ogle their dead bodies. That’s what I’ll be doing. Don’t judge me!

In which I explain my absence, a new book deal, and hey, come hang out with me.

Where’d the summer go? That crafty son of a b, it went and had itself a fine sunny time whilst I was trapped inside bent over this scraggly old computer. So, that’s where I’ve been. Or rather, here, is where I’ve been. Right here, writing on Secret Project 3D, which is now not so secret, because it was announced today:

Publisher’s Weekly Book Deals: Week of September 15th, 2014

Wahoo! I’m very excited about this project, and I can’t wait for you to meet the three triplet queens. Mirabella, the elemental, Arsinoe, the naturist, and little Katharine, the poisoner. Only one can have the crown, the poor dears, and they’re in quite the bloodthirsty pickle. So there it is. THREE DARK CROWNS. I wonder how long it will take for me to stop referring to it as 3D.

But first! I’ve got MORTAL GODS tour dates and festivals and such! Check out the Events page for the updated schedule. There might be one more after the Louisiana Book Festival, but I’m not certain yet. Come on out and hang! I would love to meet you.

I feel like there’s something else I’m supposed to mention, or that I wanted to talk about. But I was in Minnesota visiting family until this morning and I have plane mush brain. Ah well. It couldn’t have been that important.

Squeeze the Juice

Today, is my birthday. It is also French Bastille Day, and the birthday of the excellent author Kevin Emerson (EXILED), so happy birthday to him, me, and whatever the French are celebrating. The quote today, “squeeze the juice” is from Encino Man, which I never really watched, but Dylan has been quoting for weeks. “Time to squeeze the ju-uuce! No, no squeezing the juice! Squeeze the juice.” I don’t even know what the juice is, let alone if one should or should not squeeze it.

I don’t want to work today. So I may have gotten bored and updated my Goodreads biography using lyrics from 80’s and 90’s sitcom theme songs. I really wanted to get The Golden Girls in there, possibly the lines “traveled down the road and back again” but I couldn’t manage it. I did however, manage seven others, and that’s not too shabby.

The Mortal Gods tour is pretty much finalized, and I will be in NYC, Chicago, Lansing, Michigan, St. Paul, MN, Los Altos, CA, Portland, OR, Lake Forest Park, WA, and Baton Rouge, LA for sure. A few more stops may be added.

When I return from the road, there should be a new, Doberman baby waiting for me. We just heard from the breeder following an ultrasound, and our new dog-daughter or son on her or his way. I miss being a dog parent very much. Way back in the day, while my atrocious boyfriend was out wherever doing atrocious things, my dog-daughter and I used to sit home and drink wine (me, not her. Too young.) and read philosophy. I highly recommend drinking wine and reading philosophy with your dog. It’ll turn you into a guru for two hours.

You can do it with cats, but they’re already mainlining the truth of the universe like little Rustin Cohles, so instead of being encouraging they look at you like you’re a slightly lackluster infant.

Anyway, soon-to-be-no-longer-secret project 3B calls.

Stuff I’m reading: The Ape’s Wife and Other Stories by Caitlin R. Kiernan (read “Hydraguros” yesterday. Excellent.) And BETWEEN THE SPARK AND THE BURN by April Genevieve Tucholke. Fantastic so far.

Girl of Nightmares is out in paperback, so I’m giving some away!

I think the title pretty much sums it up. But in case you like visuals:

There she is. She’s purty. And I have a bunch, so let’s see…comment here and/or share something about the paperback release on social media and I’ll draw a bunch of winners say…next week. It can be something as simple as, “Hey, Girl of Nightmares is out in paperback now!” But, if you get funny and/or creative you do increase your chances of winning. I make random draw exceptions for funny and creative people. I’ll admit it. They go into their own little pool.

So! I’m off to Texas tomorrow at the buttcrack of dawn, because that’s when I like to fly. I’ll be landing in Dallas Ft. Worth and doing an event at the Irving Public Library Thursday the 19th at 7pm. Come on out! It’s me, Sonia Gensler (THE DARK BETWEEN), Tara Hudson (HEREAFTER), Rosemary Clement-Moore (TEXAS GOTHIC), and Jennifer Archer (THROUGH HER EYES)! Sonia, Tara and I were 2011 debuts together, but we’ve never met, so I’m really looking forward to hanging with them. And you. If you will come out and hang with us.

It also happens to be Dylan’s birthday, so I am catching hell for leaving even though he said I could go. He’s had some time off work recently and something I’ve discovered: he sings all the time. ALL THE FRICKEN TIME. It’s a chorus line of RENT and WICKED around here. Show tunes, jingles, pop songs, he seems to have no preference. The other day I caught him in the backyard saying, “Peregrin Took,” over and over in Gandalf voice for no reason. I like show tunes as much as the next guy, but let’s just say it’s starting to feel like he’s been home for five hundred twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes.

Caught the season finale of Game of Thrones last night. Minor spoilers for those who haven’t seen it yet, so there’s your warning to pass up this paragraph. Dany is a bad dragon mom! There, I said it. One look from those dragon-baby eyes and I would have run back screaming, “Eff it! You can eat all the children you want! Oh my sweet dragon babies!”

Of course this is probably why I’m not allowed to have dragons.

Work was halted on Secret Project 3B, which as it turns out, won’t remain secret forever after all.

And, if you are so inclined, here are some buy links for the Girl paperback: Barnes and Noble IndieBound

Or, like Stephen Colbert says, you can always go to the store, and click on the clerk.

Okay, to sum up…share something about the Girl of Nightmares paperback release and tweet or tag me in it or just tell me you did it in the comments here and I’ll giveaway some. Come see me in Texas and we’ll hang. Dylan sings, and dragons are go. Until next time, folks.

A New Blog Post for a New Website

The new website has arrived, and it is snazzy. It was designed by Rachel Silberman in all of about an hour, so if you’re looking for great design work done kindly and speedily you need look no farther than her.

What’s been going on? Lots I guess, but none of it that interesting. Back from Paris and moved into our new house. Battled bed bugs in said new house and emerged victorious. Victorious! If you’re imagining me with my head on Schwarzenegger’s body carrying a flamethrower with a nub cigar between my teeth, well, that’s pretty much how it was. Kendare Blake kills bugs dead. Or the Orkin guy does. Whatever.

In writing world I’m working on Secret Project 3B, which you may hear about soon, or later, or never. That was vague, but true. It’s a witch book, I’ll say that much. I also finished an Athena short story, to be released for free near the pub of Mortal Gods. It’s called “When Gods and Vampires Roamed Miami.” Speaking of Mortal Gods, you can totally pre-order it now if you like. Have I mentioned that already? Apologies. I’ll mention it more. Part of the gig.

This weekend I’m at Klindt’s in The Dalles, Oregon with a ton of excellent authors, hanging most of the day for their 4th Annual YA Book Fest. It’s fun. There’s food, and entertainment, and it’s laid back enough so we can chat for more than thirty seconds in a signing line, which I always enjoy. Come on out! I’ll be at a table with April Genevieve Tucholke and her fab book Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea. I will put it in your bag. Don’t think I won’t. You’ll thank me for it later.

Watched the Evil Dead remake. My favorite part of any possession movie is the hilarious and adorable possession voice. “You’re gonna die down here bitch!” Am I? Am I really? Or am I about to be invited into the Lollipop Guild? I think you know.

And now, for a list of books I’ve read lately and blurbed and which I think you should also read and blurb:

COMPULSION by Martina Boone – steamy Southern secrets and feuds! You’re gonna want it.
THE NIGHT HOUSE by Rachel Tafoya – Vampire brothels for the win!
FIREBUG by Lish McBride – want to traverse the underworld of magical creatures? Of course you do.
MARY: The Summoning by Hillary Monahan – a very scary Bloody Mary ghost story. It made me want to play. Any takers with dark bathrooms?
DUPLICITY by N.K. Traver – Tron meets mirror tricks = a thrilling creepfest!

And that’s it for now. Word to your mother.