Hellooo long-neglected website. I have no excuse for the neglect, except for the excuse that we all have and that is pandemics SUCK and time? What is time? But, with ALL THESE BODIES, aka True Crime With A Vampire, set to release on September 21st (EEK!) I thought I should round up all the options and incentives for purchasing and attending events for folks who are so inclined.

FIRSTLY: There is a preorder gift for all preorders of a US edition. Does that include ebooks? Yes, that includes ebooks. Does that include audiobooks? Yes, that includes audiobooks. Does that include preorders from independent bookstores? YES ABSOLUTELY that includes indie bookstores. All you need is to have a US mailing address and submit your receipts by September 20th and you will get your very own Marie’s Blood Red Lipstick. For full rules and to submit your proof of preorder, GO HERE!

SECONDLY: I am doing virtual events with fabulous people. If you come to the events and you have a US mailing address, you will be eligible to win prizes! Prizes! At! Each! Event! What are those prizes? Join us virtually and find out! All RSVP links and event info can be found on the Events page. AND, if you are close enough to come to Ballast Book Co in Bremerton, Washington, you can meet Lish McBride and I and get your books signed before we go virtual to chat. There will be cake. It will be custom, and inspired by All These Bodies. There will also be cake pops inspired by Lish’s new book, CURSES.

THIRDLY: Speaking of Ballast Book Co., if you preorder through them, or through my other local indie Invitation Bookshop and add instructions that those copies be signed, I will stuff an exclusive sticker into your book. What does it look like? It looks like this:

To preorder at Ballast Book Co, go here! To preorder through Invitation Bookshop, go here! This is also a good time to mention that if you ever want to order a signed copy of ANY of my books, Invitation Bookshop is the way to go. Simply place your order, add special instructions that it be signed, they will let me know, and I will pop in and sign it. I will also personalize it and doodle the heck out of it, if you add that to the instructions 🙂

FOURTH…LY: Want to order a signed copy but you’d prefer to support another indie? Wonderful, and thank you for supporting All These Bodies, and supporting indie bookstores. Orders placed through Third Place Books Lake Forest Park will come with a signed bookplate. So will orders placed through Square Books/Square Books Jr. For a full listing of Indies with signed stock go here!

FIFTHLY! No, actually I think that’s it. Plus, Armpit McGee has decided to sit on my keyboard so even if I had more to tell you I’m afraid that’s just not happening. However, I do want to say thank you to everyone who has preordered, and everyone who wants to follow me down this odd, true crimey, vampirey road. It means a lot. And I happen to think it’s quite suited for fall, a.k.a. Reading About Murder Season 🙂 So thank you. I hope you enjoy it, when it arrives on your doorstep or you pull it off the shelf, all murdery and weird.

Sixteen bloodless bodies. Two teenagers. One impossible explanation.

Description from cover:

It starts with a lone victim, found on his front porch with his throat cut and his body drained of blood. By the time it’s over, the Bloodless Murders leave a trail of sixteen bodies littered across the Midwest,with no suspects and no witnesses. Only questions: how were the victims chosen? Why didn’t they fight? And where, where is all the blood?

Michael Jensen yearns to become a journalist and escape his small-town life. He never imagined that the Bloodless Murders would come to sleepy Black Deer Falls, not until the night in September when the Carlson family is murdered in their farmhouse. The only suspect in the case is found with them in the house that night: fifteen-year-old Marie Catherine Hale, unharmed but covered in blood. She claims the murderer abandoned her at the scene, and though her story is suspicious, no one believes her capable of committing the crimes on her own.

When Marie refuses to talk to anyone but Michael, he agrees to record her side of the story. But how can he trust her confession when it calls into question everything that he holds to be true?

Marie knows that her time is running out. But she chose Michael for a reason, and his search for answers gives her one last chance to tell her truth. 

Hi there! I’ve been away awhile, lost in the sauce and sludge that was 2020 like many of us (and I did not have a book release in 2020 which in retrospect looks like an act of supremely good timing). I’ve been hiding out, isolating, caring for my disabled and vulnerable mom, giving belly kisses to Armpit McGee and spankins to Tyrion Cattister. Obi-dog Kenobi and Agent Scully have had much play and many walks…they are FIT, after this year of both me and Dylan not going anywhere.

But! In addition to all that hiding, I’ve been in my office toiling away. I’ve worked on not one, not two, but THREE books over the last year, and I am over the moon excited to introduce you to the first one: ALL THESE BODIES. Can we please take a moment to enjoy the lovely cover, designed by Erin Fitzimmons, artwork by Miranda Meeks. That girl on the cover there, is Marie Catherine Hale, the 15-year-old sole survivor?/lone suspect? of the Bloodless Murders. She’s all cleaned up now, but when she’s found she’s drenched in blood, from head to toe. Like Carrie after that really bad prom.

There will be a lot more about ALL THESE BODIES leading up to its release in September, but for now, please indulge me as I tell you how we met. Books show up in all different ways, you know. Many have heard the story about how Three Dark Crowns came about, with a ball of bees and a helpful beekeeper at a book event in May 2013. ALL THESE BODIES wasn’t quite so easy. Or rather, I didn’t let it be so easy.

The story that would become ALL THESE BODIES has been bugging me since before Three Dark Crowns; I would say it showed up six months earlier. It didn’t know what it was at first. But it was very enthusiastic about getting written. Here’s how it went.

Me, minding my own business: Is somebody back there?

ALL THESE BODIES: BOO! Hahahaha. It’s me. Your next book.

Me: Ok, hi. Wwwwhat are you?

ALL THESE BODIES: *proceeds to rattle off the craziest shit imaginable*

Me: …Yeah, I need to be somewhere.

Flash forward to 2016

ALL THESE BODIES: So you’re finally done with those murderous queens, I guess.

Me: Oh. You’re still here. And I see you’ve gotten weirder.

ALL THESE BODIES: YES. Now I’m rolled in the crunchy topping of the teenaged spree killer Charlie Starkweather and his young girlfriend Caril Ann Fugate. And the slaughter of the Clutter family in Kansas! And there’s this guy who wants to be a journalist, and there’s this girl, and there’s these KILLINGS, and Why?! And How?! And–

Me: Actually those queens aren’t done.

ALL THESE BODIES: But…

Me: Yeah, after One Dark Throne…Arsinoe’s just going to keep poking at that until something blows up. You know how she is.

ALL THESE BODIES: But…what about all of these…bodies?

Me: Gotta go byeee

Flash forward to 2019

ALL THESE BODIES: *busts in the door chest first*

Me: *looks at it and smiles* So that’s what you are. Okay. I’m ready.

Spoiler alert, friends, I was not ready. But it was time, and ALL THESE BODIES took me on a ride. I hope it’ll take you on one, too.

One of the other books I was working on is still a secret and will be announced SOON. The other is my next fantasy that I’m code naming AMAZON JEDIS, and you won’t hear much about that until next year. There are a few more announcements coming about a preorder bonus for the Five Dark Fates paperback if you order through my NEW LOCAL INDIE (Yay!) Invitation Bookshop, and the Five Dark Fates paperback WILL include the bonus epilogue.

Until then, I’m late to post the cover to other places, so….I gotta go, byeee

K

And oh yeah, preorder link here:

https://bit.ly/3pa5O9K

Hello, it’s me from two days before the release of FIVE DARK FATES! So obviously I am highly caffeinated and VERY disorganized, and I apologize for any lateness in posting this info. But for those who have asked, here it is! The definitive list of places and ways to get your copies of Five Dark Fates SIGNED

METHOD #1: Go to a signing, where I will doodle and personalize to your heart’s content. For details about where to find me, head to the EVENTS page of this website.

METHOD #2: Call and order a signed, personalized copy from any of the stores I will be at, before I get there. I will sign and doodle to your heart’s content when I arrive, and they will ship it to you!

METHOD #3: Get one of the excellent Five Dark Fates subscription boxes from Beacon Book Box or The Bookish Box! Alas, both of these I’ve just learned are SOLD OUT so I hope everyone who got one enjoys the excellent swag and merch!!!

METHOD #4: Nab one of the signed editions that I have lovingly scrawled in with many different colors of ink, from the retailers below. Will you get black? Red? Blue? Green? Purple? One of the rare bee doodles? Only one way to tell.

BarnesandNoble.com *signed edition available online only, while supplies last

BAM! *available in stores as of 9/3 and online

HALF PRICE BOOKS *available chain-wide, try your luck or call your local branch to check 🙂

Those links I listed there (except for the HPB one) will take you conveniently right to FIVE DARK FATES. I aim to please.

NOW FOR A COMPREHENSIVE LIST OF INDIES

*alphabetical by state, click links to visit store sites

ARIZONA – Mostly Books, in Tucson and Changing Hands Bookstores in Phoenix and Tempe!

CALIFORNIA – Mysterious Galaxy in San Diego and Chaucer’s Bookstore in Santa Barbara! *I ‘ll be signing in San Diego on 9/16, see Events page for details.

CONNECTICUT – Bank Square Books in Mystic! *I’ll be signing in Connecticut on 9/10, see Events page for details.

FLORIDA – Vero Beach Book Center in Vero Beach! *I’ll be signing in Pembroke Pines on 9/14, see Events page for details.

ILLINOIS – Anderson’s Bookshop in Naperville and 57th Street Books in Chicago!

KENTUCKY – Joseph Beth Booksellers in Lexington and Crestview Hills!

MAINE – Bull Moose Bookstores in Scarborough and Waterville!

MICHIGAN – Schuyler Books in Okemos and Grand Rapids, and Nicola’s Books in Ann Arbor!

MISSISSIPPI – Lemuria Books in Jackson, and Square Books in Oxford!

NEW HAMPSHIRE – Gibson’s Bookstore in Concord and Innisfree Bookshop in Meredith!

NEW YORK – Books of Wonder in NYC!

NORTH CAROLINA – Bookmarks in Winston Salem!

OHIO – Joseph Beth Booksellers in Cincinnati, Book Loft in Columbus and Jay & Mary’s Book Center in Troy!

OKLAHOMA – Best of Books in Edmond!

OREGON – Powell’s Books in Portland!

RHODE ISLAND – Savoy Bookshop & Cafe in Westerly!

TEXAS – Book People in Austin and Half Price Books in Dallas!

WASHINGTON – University Bookstore and Secret Garden Bookshop in Seattle, Liberty Bay Books in Poulsbo, Inklings Bookshop in Yakima, and A Book for All Seasons in Leavenworth! *I’m signing at University Bookstore in Seattle on 9/3. See Event page for details.

WISCONSIN – Boswell Book Co. in Milwaukee!

UNITED KINGDOM – Forbidden Planet in London! *I signed a bunch of bookplates and stock while I was there in June, so they will have some bookplate-signed editions! Which I feel are just as good 🙂

Go to any of these incredible stores to find the signed edition of Five Dark Fates while supplies last! Or order from any of them by phone or via their websites (best method varies by store).

And that, I think, is it. All of the ways and places you can get the signed first edition. I hope you love the conclusion of the series, and thank you so much for going on this journey with me and the Fennbirn queens.

Now I’m off to get more caffeine. -K

Yeah. I’m a bad blogger. That’s been established. So let’s just get this out of the way:

THE FIVE DARK FATES COVER IS HERE!

And a description, too, why not?

After the battle with Katharine, the rebellion lies in tatters. Jules’s legion curse has been unbound, leaving her out of her mind and unfit to rule. Arsinoe must find a cure, even as the responsibility of stopping the ravaging mist rests heavy on her shoulders, and her shoulders alone. Mirabella has disappeared.  

Queen Katharine’s rule over Fennbirn remains intact—for now. But her attack on the rebellion exacted a high price: her beloved Pietyr. Without him, who can she rely upon when Mirabella arrives, seemingly under a banner of truce? As oldest and youngest circle each other, and Katharine begins to yearn for the closeness that Mirabella and Arsinoe share, the dead queens hiss caution—Mirabella is not to be trusted.  

In this conclusion to the Three Dark Crowns series, three dark sisters will rise to fight as the secrets of Fennbirn’s history are laid bare. Allegiances will shift. Bonds will be tested, and some broken forever.

The fate of the island lies in the hands of its queens.

I am beyond excited for you to read this final installment of the Three Dark Crowns series. I’m also sad. And frightened. And…not done working on it yet. But it will come out on September 3rd, and I really love it. I love the cover, and the queens, and the familiars, and the island, and I’m going to miss it so much. There will probably be tour dates, and I hope you will join me at them and listen to me bawl. I have no information yet about any preorder incentives, but I am grateful for all of you who have preordered already, and any of you who do (links can be found on the book’s page here on the website), or who request it at your local library. Those things really do help an author’s career, and still really helps a series, even at the final book stage.

THE FINAL BOOK! Pardon me while I weep. There are so many things I’m going to miss about this world, and about this world’s readers. Fennbirnians, if you will. The fan art. The bookstagrams. The merch that I may or may not own too much of. BUT…maybe I won’t have to say goodbye to the world exactly…or not a complete goodbye. That’s very cryptic and I can’t say more yet, or anything for sure. It’s not about the movie though, for which I have no updates. Believe me, if I had any news about the movie that I was allowed to share, I would be SHARING IT LOUDLY.

Ditto for the Anna Dressed in Blood stuff (television, I think is the focus now). Fingers crossed, both projects are still developing.

Anyway, I really love you readers, and it’s been an honor, and I’m so grateful that you’ve come on this journey with Mirabella, Arsinoe, Katharine and Jules. And I’m going to stop now before I get too emotional before the book is even out. Geez.

In non-book news, we are still thawing out from the Seattle Snowpocalypse and I haven’t left the house in a week. This weekend I will neeeed a good burger and a pint of Guinness. NEEEED. The herd of pets are all well: Armpit McGee just had a bath, and we ran a DNA test on Agent Scully and discovered she is a Pow Pow Rotterman (Pit bull, chow chow, doberman, rottweiler. With low percentages of Australian Cattle Dog and German Shepherd.) Yesterday I made a frittata. It’s like, wild and glamorous around here.

Anyway, I’ll try to post more consistent news! Or at least, more than once a year.

Tell your mother I said hello,

Kendare

The Pre-order swag: It’s a deck of Three Dark Crowns playing cards! Some of the artwork is shown above. I can’t wait to get mine. I’m going to play all the rummy in the world. If you have pre-ordered, and are in the US, go here to submit your info and proof of purchase before 9/18 to receive a deck: Pre-order Swag

The Signed Editions: Okay, my intel on this is not the best, but you can definitely find signed copies around. Here’s a list of places you might be able to find them:

• BAM
• Indigo
• Costco
• Target
• Walmart
• Target.com
• Walmart.com
• Some International editions
• Barnes and Noble
• BN.com

The Bonus Material: This is an extra bit of story featuring Katharine and Pietyr. It’s available exclusively from Barnes & Noble. They’ll sell these until they run out, but I don’t know how many they’ve ordered. They’ll also stock Signed Bonus editions until they run out of those. If you want one of these, go here: BN Exclusive Signed and BN Exclusive Only

Also, if you pre-order, thank you. I hope you love the second book in the series, and just…thank you. And did I mention THANK YOU? Of course I’m grateful for any and all purchases/recs, library orders, etc, but you pre-orderers are so impressively on top of things.

Ok. End of book stuff for this entry. Now let’s talk about my Game of Thrones sorrow. Spoilers ahead if you’re behind on Season 7

Seriously

Stop

Reading

Now if you’re behind on Season 7

That’s good enough, we should be alone. Alone, so I can SCREAM! You motherf*cking Night King I will have your stupid blue head on a pike for what you have done you stupid, mother*fucking blue-headed and did I mention motherf*cking? ASSHOLE. All I wanted was for Tyrion and Viserion to ride off together, just show their backsides to the rest of Westeros and go off to frolic, you know, by the sea.

But NO. You moronic, grinning, butt-faced Night King with your stupid blue head (You ain’t no Mary Poppins!) had to aim for the smallest dragon. The sweetest dragon. The dragon who landed on strangers and needed to be shaken off when he kept trying to get on Dany after he was too big. And now you must die. I mean, you were probably going to die anyway, but now I’m serious.

The only way I’ll forgive you is if you grow to love Wight Viserion so much that you turn your buttcheeks to the rest of Westeros and you take him and go frolic by the undead sea instead.

Rant over for now, to be repeated every time I see the MOTHERF*CKING NIGHT KING!

Waaah, Viserion! I don’t care if Jon is supposed to ride Rhaegal eventually. I’d rather it have been Rhaegal.

I was waiting to blog this month because there are some cool things in the mix for the Three Dark Crowns series that are yet to be announced. BUT! If I don’t blog now I’ll miss February, plus I need something to do for like twenty minutes before I can feed my pack their lunch and fix myself my daily cup of coffee, so here I am. I’ll just have to save the news for March. But it’s rad. And I want to talk about it. Now.

But I won’t. Restraint. It’s the name of the game.

ONE DARK THRONE got a nifty cover reveal over on the official series Facebook page. And oh! It got an official series Facebook page! Have you liked and followed it? I wholeheartedly recommend that you do, because it sounds like they have some excellent plans: announcements and quizzes and special content. My lovely webdesigner Rachel also added a One Dark Throne page to the site here, complete with pre-order links if you are so inclined (and for those of you who have asked, there have been rumblings about a pre-order campaign but I’m not sure yet. Save your receipts to be safe. Also THANK YOU!).

And I got a sneak peek at the UK cover (I’m thinking there will only be one this time) and it is lovely.

On a personal note, I’d like to wish my horse Lassie a very happy birthday. February 25th will mark her golden birthday, and on such a big occasion, I had to send her something special. So I sent her a box of cannoli made for horses. She’s an old lady horse now, but to me she will always be a baby. And a jerk. Oh, how she bites me.

And on a strange personal note, my parents found my old adoption paperwork and discovered my original name. k81 2097. Which I think sounds fantastic. Like I’m a cyborg. Henceforth I shall be called The k81, and if I ask you if you have seen this boy, you should run.

Now to feed the pack! And I hope to be able to blog next month with news!