#31HorrorFilms31Days (Part Two)

If you read the last post you know I’ve been participating in the #31HorrorFilms31Days challenge, because any excuse to watch horror movies is good with me. Though at the outset I feared being able to complete it, due to lack of time, or lack of interest in 31 different and mainly unseen films, I think I’m going to pull it off. Horror flicks are generally short, too, so that helps. It’s not like I’m trying to watch The Lord of the Rings movies 31 times.

PART TWO: Films 11-23 (those denoted with an asterisk are ones I have never seen before)

11. THE WOMAN IN BLACK 2: Angel of Death* – Look, spoiler alert, this broad killed Harry Potter in the first one, and I wanted to know what somebody was going to do about it. Such things are not allowed.

12. MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE* – Stephen King directed it and Lisa Simpson screams a lot in this “asteroid caused our machines to turn murderous” flick. Fun. And nice stunts!

13. DON’T LOOK NOW* – Okay, more an art house thriller than horror, I still find all the Donald Sutherland nudity to be plenty horrifying. Good acting though.

14. THE FINAL GIRLS* – Friends trapped in one of their favorite horror films and have to survive it? Sign me up! The Adderall-fueled striptease was hilarious.

15. THEY LIVE!* – Rowdy Roddy Piper finds sunglasses that let him see the alien invaders around him. Spoiler alert, they’re everywhere. Double spoiler alert, Rowdy Roddy Piper has come here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and he is all out of bubblegum. (seriously, is this where that phrase came from?)

16. IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS* – More John Carpenter, this one played out like Stephen King’s wet dream where everything he writes comes to life. Sam Neill grounds this picture but it’s still a fairly wild ride.

17. 7-Below* – what the hell is this shit? Seven people trapped in a murder house where Ving Rhames tries to be terrifying and someone asks for more sex from Val Kilmer. Look, he only has so much sex to give, all right?

18. SCREAM 2 – Dylan had never seen it. And honestly, it’s a pretty decent movie. Particularly compared to the rest of the Scream sequels.

19. OUIJA* – I like movies about Ouija boards. Don’t judge me.

20. THE LAZARUS EFFECT* – Like a heartless, updated Flatliners, where you just want everyone to turn slap happy.

21. CRIMSON PEAK* – This was a beautiful film. As expected. Unexpected was the sight of Tom Hiddleston’s hiney. I think I made a little noise in the theater. Do note that this is more gothic romance than horror. The scariest thing about it was seeing it an an actual theater, and keeping an eye out for potential mass shooters. Thanks for ruining the movies for me!

22. DELIVERANCE* – Recommended by a friend who loves hillbillies. Dylan noted that Angelina Jolie must get her long legs from Jon Voight.

23. HELLRAISER* – Wanted this to be scarier. Wanted it to have less boning. It was sort of 50 Shades of Pinhead.

On the writing front I’m still working on THREE DARK CROWNS. I did see the flap copy for it this week, and loved it. It’s always weird when that first piece of a book arrives that I didn’t actually work on. Like, other people are working on this. It’s going to be a book. That remains very, very weird. And cool.

Speaking of that, time to get back to it. Word to your mothers.

 

 

Where to order signed books and #31HorrorFilms31Days (first 10)

I get inquiries about where folks can buy personalized, signed copies of my books, when they can’t make it to events. Unfortunately, I don’t have a nearby bookstore that I can just hop over to and sign and doodle in orders anytime. But I am going to be a few places this fall, so if anyone wants any of my books signed/personalized/doodled in, here are places to order from: (check with them for any shipping deals)

Klindt’s Booksellers, 541-296-3355. klindtsbooks.com

University Bookstore Seattle, 206-634-3400. ubookstore.com

Last week or so I heard about the #31HorrorFilms31Days challenge from Stephanie Perkins. Since I’ll take any excuse to binge horror movies, I jumped onboard. The “rules” are to watch at least 31 horror films that you’ve never seen before, prior to November 1st. But you know how I feel about rules. I wasn’t going to let them stop me from re-watching my favorites. Last week I watched my first ten. (films marked with an asterisk are ones that I hadn’t seen before.)

  1. A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET – Wes Craven just died. This is my eternal favorite horror franchise. I couldn’t start off with anything else.
  2. WILLOW CREEK* – Samsquantches! The description mentioned unexplained phenomena and I immediately thought of one of my favorites, NATURE’S GRAVE with Jim Caviezel. Alas, this was more, Blair Witch but with more wood-knocking. Come on, Bobcat, make it weirder.
  3. NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 4 – this was possibly the first horror movie I ever watched as a child. Thus, it is a sentimental favorite. And that martial arts sequence set to Dramarama’s “Anything, Anything” is fantastic.
  4. UNFRIENDED* – could these people be any more bitchy? Oh, how I laughed. Everyone in this film is a huge dick. Including the ghost. The framing device they use to tell it (all in Skype) is a bit of a disconnect. But it is a good tutorial for Facebook.
  5. APRIL FOOL’S DAY* – this was my best friend’s favorite as a child. I told her I was watching it and she just kept screaming, “Buffy! Buffy!” and I didn’t get it because the character’s name was Muffy.
  6. SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE 2* – I watched Slumber Party Massacre 1 as a child. Guy has a big drill and nobody knows how to defend against it. Thoughts while watching 2: Being drilled to death is a degrading way to die. Whirr, whirr, whirr, whirr….awww. And, hey, isn’t that the lady from the 90s sitcom, WINGS?
  7. JOHN DIES AT THE END* – the doorknob turns into a penis. He declares it unable to be opened. Fun and random and clever.
  8. DEVIL’S DUE* (part of our Evil Impregnation Marathon) – After everything that happens, she gains consciousness and asks if the baby is ok. What the eff, lady? What she should have said: “Is the baby dead? Where’s my dog?”
  9. ROSEMARY’S BABY* – this was just grand. But, the antichrist’s name is Adrian? No way. I could accept many things, but I would not be raising an antichrist that Rocky fans could easily mock.
  10. HELLBABY* – technically a horror comedy, and technically still half-watched. We had to cut the Evil Impregnation Marathon short because it got late. And this was dumb.

I’m looking forward to THE FINAL GIRLS later this week. If you know any great films I should not miss, please do let me know. I’m on this until the 31st, when I will bookend the thing with more Wes Craven: NEW NIGHTMARE.

The ongoing “Thanks for reading the Goddess War” UNGODLY giveaway!

Hi there. Welcome to the ongoing “Thanks for reading the Goddess War” UNGODLY giveaway. This giveaway exists to thank readers for their support of the Goddess War series. I was going to call it the “Finish your Goddess War Trilogy” giveaway, but I like this better. Now let me explain it.

GIVEAWAY UPDATE: 9/30

I am out of books. Wow, I really thought this giveaway would be more “ongoing” than one day, but you guys have cleaned me out. I still have signed bookmarks and bookplates though, so feel free to keep posting photos! I’ll send until they’re gone!

What is up for grabs:

A signed, personalized one of these, until I run out of them.
A signed, personalized one of these, until I run out of them.

How to get one: 

Take a photo of yourself with your copies of Antigoddess and Mortal Gods, or a friend if you’re shy, or your hand with a note if you’re really shy, and post it to social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Potato (there is no Potato, but there will be someday)) and tag roids-usa.com me so I see it. I will then contact you for your address. Obi-Dog will demonstrate:

See? Like this. You don't have to duplicate the pose and bandanna, but he encourages it.
See? Like this. You don’t have to duplicate the pose and bandanna, but he encourages it.

If you read them on your ereader but want to enter for a signed copy, take photos with their covers showing on your device.

That’s it. Easy. As a thank you for reading with me that far, I’ll give you the last book, until I run out of them.

If you’re worried I didn’t see your photo, or if you don’t use social media, feel free to send it to me at kendareblake@yahoo.com to make sure. I may or may not post it again to my own accounts, FYI.

If you are a library reader:

I don’t know! Take photos with your library books, and I will find some way to thank you, until I run out of stuff. I wish I had a better answer for this one. Libraries are excellent.

If you already bought the whole trilogy and are now cursing my name:

I’m sorry! I mean, thank you, so, so much. I really, really to infinity appreciate that. If you take a photo of yourself with your trilogy and tag me, I will send you personalized, signed bookplates, and an Antigoddess feather bookmark, until I run out of them.

If you are a reader outside of the United States:

I’m happy to send you signed bookplates for your trilogy, until I run out of international stamps. (If you take a photo and do the yada yada above.)

ARCs do not count, sorry. Also, if you already won one of your copies from me, it doesn’t count. Sorry. If you stole your copies, what the hell, man? And also, why did you tell me? But those don’t count either.

I should have called this the “Until I run out of stuff” giveaway. Geez. Anyway, I’ll try to pair hardcover sets with hardcovers, and paperback sets with paperbacks, but I make no guarantees. When I run out, I will tell you.

Just a few quick things.

I can finally brave the blog again after that last Tybalt post. We sure do miss him around here, but life adjusts, as life does. Obi-Dog has taken over the responsibility of invading the bed and forcing us to sleep in uncomfortable positions, and Tyrion has taken over the responsibilities of eating wet food and warming my lap. Photographic evidence to follow:

He gets this expression from his uncle. Dylan doesn't know what I'm talking about, but I've seen my brother make this face so many times.
He gets this expression from his uncle. Dylan doesn’t know what I’m talking about, but I’ve seen my brother make this face so many times.

Two weeks ago we were at Sasquan, aka Worldcon, which was lovely, despite occasionally smelling like bacon thanks to the Washington State wildfires. We had a brief sighting of George RR Martin, a fun zombie panel, and a very well attended panel on scaring teens. Speaking of teens, I met two girls who had the coolest idea for Anna Dressed in Blood cosplay. One was going to be Anna cursed, and the other Anna the girl. Of course they were fighting over which would be the cursed, but taken together it’s such a fun idea. If they manage to complete it, they promised me pictures.

There’s a new Goddess War short story available to read for free at Tor.com: The Dogs of Athens It’s about Artemis, before the war began.

Mortal Gods came out in paperback last week. Ungodly comes out in hardcover in two weeks. I’ll be running an UNGODLY GIVEAWAY here shortly.

Work continues on THREE DARK CROWNS. We painted our guestroom so finally one room in our house isn’t fucking beige. Unfortunately, that room is Seahawk blue. I didn’t realize this until we put up the neon green Frogtape and Dylan started to giggle.

I finished edits on my story for The X-Files: The Truth is Out There, Volume 2.

We stained the fence, and I made Dylan put on my Karate Kid headband and ordered him around Mr. Miyagi style. Uuuup! Dooowwnn! Because that’s the only way to stain a fence.

Aaand, that’s it. I’ll be back with a giveaway soon. Word to your mother.

You fuck, you ate my cat. Goodbye, my Tybalt.

This is difficult so I’m going to do it quickly. I wanted this to be a sort of tribute post, but now that I’m actually writing it I don’t think I have the stones to pull it off at the moment.

Anna readers may recognize the title of this post as one of my favorite Cas Lowood quotes. He says it after his cat, Tybalt, meets an untimely demise in Anna Dressed in Blood. What you might not know is that Tybalt is actually my cat. A black, sweet and slinky ball of sass who pulled tufts of fur out and left them around the house. He could catch flies in his mouth in midair. His eyes were sometimes green, and sometimes yellow.

When he died on Thursday, they were green.

It all happened very fast. A few weeks ago, he became a picky eater, and stopped sleeping between my feet. We thought he had a cold, and tried different kinds of food. We worried he might be feeling neglected, and lavished him with more attention. When he didn’t improve, we took him to our vet on Monday. Blood tests. Fluid in his belly. Cancer.

We thought we would be going to pick him up. Perhaps have a few good weeks to say goodbye. But Tybalt never came home.

Our house is sad now, and full of shadows. It’s too quiet. It’s cold. I would like to lie down and kick dirt over myself like a demented, post-partum sea turtle. But it’s been a dry summer here and the ground is just…packed really fucking tight.

Thank you to all of the readers who told me how pissed they were about Tybalt’s fate in the book. I used to tell him about it, and he would slow blink at me as if to say, “I told you. You shouldn’t have killed me off. I was the eye candy. I was the star. Now be a good girl and give me some treats. Just a small handful, as I don’t want to ruin my lunch.”

Cats pack a lot of words into slow blinks. Anyway, for the next while, if I’m slow to respond or absent-minded with anyone, this is why.

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Final Sasquan schedule, and a few fall events

I’m going to Worldcon this year! Effen Booking dot yeah I am. And I’m very excited, even though I am not at all informed about/involved with the Sad and or Rabid Puppy controversy. My only plan is to meet up with my good pal, author Trent Reedy and harass him about when the last installment of the DIVIDED WE FALL trilogy is coming, and to spy on George RR Martin around the corner of a wall, then giggle into my hand and run away.

Here’s my official schedule, for anyone who wants to find me:

Saturday 8/22

2:30-3pm Reading in DBT Spokane Falls Suite A/B

I don’t know what I’m reading. Probably one of the Goddess War stories, so either When Gods and Vampires Roamed Miami, or The Dogs of Athens. Or, if I’m all alone, maybe my X-Files story, because then I can do my “Mulder voice”.

4-4:45pm Fresh Young Brains panel in CC Bays 11B

With Steven Barnes, Susan Forest and Julie McGalliard. It’s a zombie panel. Those who know me know I fear the zombies. I may have nothing to add to this conversation except vague, incoherent screams.

Sunday 8/23

10-10:45am Oh the Horror! panel in CC300D

With Scott Edelman, Susan Forest and Gillian Redfearn. This is a horror in YA panel. You’d think I’d have more to say on this topic. But I’m still planning on contributing mostly vague, incoherent screams.

12-12:45pm Signing in CC Hall B

I will sign whatever you’ve got. Anna, Antigoddess, books that aren’t mine. I won’t sign pets or children, as they can’t give consent. I’ll also be giving away some very fine Slasher Girls & Monster Boys commemorative T-shirts. First come, first shirted.

So that’s my Sasquan! Up on the Events page, you can find details on two other events I have this fall, including one very cool Halloween haunted after hours party where I will read tarot for people. If you’re in that area, definitely stop out.

And if you’re coming to Sasquan, say hi! Unless I’m spying on George RR Martin around the corner of a wall. Then just leave me to it for a few minutes or it’ll get weird.

I wish I was a better writer. Or at least an Oscar Mayer wiener.

Actually, despite everyone seemingly being in love with them, I do not care for Oscar Mayer wieners. They are too fancy for me. I take my wieners cheap, kept in some guy’s stand, soaking in tepid water half the day and made of lips and butts. That’s how I like ’em.

But this post isn’t about wieners. As usual it’s not about much of anything, but I suppose it could partially be about being a better writer. Because I do wish I was a better writer.

Work continues on THREE DARK CROWNS 2, and some days, it goes okay. Other days, I stare at my screen and ask who the hell taught me to string two sentences together. The answer? Nobody! Nobody fricken taught me how, because I can’t, and it sucks, and I’m going to burn this mother down.

Even when it’s good, I’ll read it back and think: hmm. Not terrible. Pretty decent, even. But it isn’t THAT good. It’s not like, Marcus Sedgwick good. Not Caitlin Kiernan good. Not (insert a hundred other writers’ names here) good.  Sometimes, I’ll read through something I wrote and be horrified. Like, I-wish-someone-would-drag-me-out-into-the-street-and-beat-me-with-it-until-I-repent horrified.

But I don’t always feel that way. Occasionally I can read my old stuff and enjoy it as if I wasn’t the one who wrote it at all. When the writing is good, that’s how I usually feel. Good writing takes me out of the equation completely.

I will always push to be as good as so-and-so, and come up short. It’s the only plan I have to continually get better. I’ll try new methods. Different styles. This is what I remind myself when the self-critic says I ought not be in this business and puts a cigar out on my head.

Anyway, we finally watched IT FOLLOWS last week and while Dylan did not enjoy, I recommend it. It was annoying, but that was sort of the point, and the idea of being followed in that way managed to make it hard for me to sleep. I count that a win. Still not as good as The Babadook, though.

And speaking of movies, it’s weird how one can go from intense fear and dislike of raptors in Jurassic Park to intense love and devotion to them in Jurassic World. In Park, I begrudged them eating even that gimpy kid, and I was totally with Muldoon. Shoot her. Shooot….heer! And then came Blue and I want to put a bonnet on her and move her in with Ma and Pa Ingalls.

P.S., can anyone tell me how to feel about Jared Leto’s Joker? Because I just. Don’t. Know. Must see more.

Thunder Bay Event Recap

Hi there. Do you ever feel like you’re going nuts? I’ve just returned from fabulous Thunder Bay Ontario, home to Anna Korlov, and newish home to Theseus Cassio Lowood. I met a lot of people, stopped home in Minnesota for a few days and talked to more people, and since I’ve been back, I realize I remember conversations but am not certain who I had those conversations with. I find this very disturbing. I’m usually a steel trap (challenge me to a game of Kevin Bacon. Go ahead. Challenge me.) but this makes me wonder if I’m going to get early onset dementia.

Not cool, early onset dementia. Not cool.

Not cool, regular dementia, actually. Anyway, here’s some photos from the trip. First up, Mary and Bill Jarrett, proprietors of the Country Cozy B&B. If you’re ever traveling through Thunder Bay, I can’t recommend them highly enough. The breakfasts, man. Fresh chives make all the difference.

Such nice folks. See that cabinet behind Mary? That's where she usually keeps Cas' favorite Saskatoon jam.
Such nice folks. See that cabinet behind Mary? That’s where she usually keeps Cas’ favorite Saskatoon jam.

The event at Chapters was excellent, I was “in conversation” as they say, with E.K. Johnston and Michelle Krys, who were both grand. E.K. has A THOUSAND NIGHTS out this fall and it looks stupendous. Michelle has DEAD GIRLS SOCIETY out next year.

I restrained myself and did not conduct the panel in an impression of Will Ferrell doing an impression of James Lipton.
I restrained myself and did not conduct the panel in an impression of Will Ferrell doing an impression of James Lipton.

Photo taken by the fabulous Amanda from Chapters, who also introduced me to Persians, the Thunder Bay pastry of choice. Pink icing, cinnamon roll. Can’t go wrong.

One more photo, this one of our doggie chauffeurs to the airport: Meat, the Frenchie, and his Dachshund pal Scooter.

He only accepts tips in the form of meat products, placed gently into his under-bite.
He only accepts tips in the form of meat products, placed gently into his under-bite.

So. Good trip. On Tuesday I get off my lazy duff and switch immediately to my writing duff to start THREE DARK CROWNS 2, which should take all of the summer and much of the fall. It will be interrupted briefly by trips to Oregon and Worldcon, as well as edits for book 1, but I should be able to swing it. I’m actually ahead of the game this time. I took notes.

And a big thank you to everyone who entered to win an ARC of UNGODLY. It was really cool, to see the things you tagged and hear your casting picks. Winners have been contacted and the ARCs have all been claimed.

And, because I feel like doing it, here’s stuff I’ve been watching and reading.

Game of Thrones- I’m just not sure about this Jon Snow business. And still unconvinced that Dany is a fit dragon-mom. Maybe she needs Chris Pratt and his raptor-clicker.

Penny Dreadful- I love Eva Green.

Aquarius- I love you Fox Mulder, but who would follow this Charlie? Still though. Fox Mulder.

Wayward Pines- what the ever-loving hell is this? But nice to see you again, Mr. Dillon. Who starred with Kevin Bacon in  Wild Things.

Books, finished: The Iron Trial (yay chaos wolf pups), The Ape’s Wife and Other Stories

 

An UNGODLY ARC Giveaway

So these bad boys arrived recently:

Ungodly ARCs

 

They’re nude. They’re provocative. They’re indecent. Want one?

If you do, there are lots of easy ways to enter. Note that this giveaway is US and Canada only, and ends June 8th.

TO ENTER:

-Comment on this post, telling me who your favorite character in the Goddess War series is

-Find my tweets about the giveaway and RT

-show me cool pictures of Greek Gods or Goddesses, or you in cosplay, or art, or actors you think would be good to play characters, (or hell, just tell me) and tag me on Twitter or Instagram with #UNGODLYARC

Comments on Facebook posts and at Goodreads will also count. Pretty easy, no? I’m going to try to pick a few winners from each entry style, so go nuts. Enter as many times as you like.

Once again, contest is US and Canada only, ends June 8th. Please make sure there’s a way to get in touch with you if you win.

Here’s a bit about the book, when it has its clothes on. It’s the end of the Goddess War! And did you catch the Princess Bride reference in there?

ungodly

As ancient immortals are left reeling, a modern Athena and Hermes search the world for answers in the final Goddess War novel by the acclaimed author of Anna Dressed in Blood

For the Goddess of Wisdom, what Athena didn’t know could fill a book. That’s what Ares said.

So she was wrong about some things. So the assault on Olympus left them beaten and scattered and possibly dead. So they have to fight the Fates themselves, who, it turns out, are the source of the gods’ illness. And sure, Athena is stuck in the underworld, holding the body of the only hero she has ever loved.

But Hermes is still topside, trying to power up Andie and Henry before he runs out of time and dies, or the Fates arrive to eat their faces.

And Cassandra is up there somewhere too. On a quest for death. With the god of death.

Just because things haven’t gone exactly according to plan, it doesn’t mean they’ve lost. They’ve only mostly lost. And there’s a big difference.

Between-book Guilt

This post exists because I need to run a giveaway for UNGODLY ARCs soon, but I just featured one for SLASHER GIRLS ARCs, and I refuse to have two giveaway posts in a row. I don’t know why.

This post also exists to talk about my current experiences with Between-book Guilt, better known as, Downtime Guilt.

As some of you may be aware, I’m between books. That is, UNGODLY is off to the presses and THREE DARK CROWNS is with my editor being…edited upon, which leaves me here, all alone with no book, and no real necessity to start a new book until I finish edits on THREE D.

Joy! Some of you writers may be saying. Rapture! No deadlines breathing down your neck? No novel poking you in the head during dinner? Why aren’t you on your knees crying, “FREEDOM!” like Mel Gibson in Braveheart only less because your intestines are out and more because of yay?

And it’s true. Enjoy your downtime, people! Writers or otherwise, you’ve earned it. That’s what you’ve worked so diligently and efficiently for.

Except every time I sit down to read, or play Final Fantasy: Lightning Returns, or sit down anywhere that isn’t in front of my computer, I feel guilty. I don’t know when this started happening, but I suspect it was when I started to work exclusively from home.

I have other home-working pals who express the same guilt, and I’ve always told them to never feel guilty for taking time for themselves. How unpleasant to discover that all my assurances over the years have done no good. I know, because people say the same thing to me now, and I still feel guilty even writing this blog post. Every few lines I stop and yell out, “Quit whining, a-hole! Go write a book!”

Or, do anything that feels like work. Surely there’s SOMETHING I ought to be doing.  Old manuscripts I could shine up? New, experimental ideas to explore? And couldn’t the house be cleaner?

I could start the next book, I suppose. Except that edits from the first one might render what I start unusable, and when I think about that I would hurl, if only I had a tiny paper cup to hurl into.

Now I’m fighting the urge to list off all the writing-related work I’ve done in the last month so I’ll appear to be less of a huge, lazy, loser. But I won’t. I refuse!

UNGODLY ARC Giveaway will start next week.