Tell you what I’m gonna do, Snakes. I’m gonna give you to the count of ten, to get your ugly, yellow

No good Keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead.

Ah, the holidays. I think everyone has that movie that just means the holidays for them. For some, it's A Christmas Story. For others, A Charlie Brown Christmas, or It's a Wonderful Life. But for me, it's Home Alone. I love that the guy in Angels with Filthy Souls is named "Snakes". I love it. I've taken to calling my husband "Snakes." He'll say something like, "What do you want to do today?" and I'll reply, "I'll tell you what I'm gonna do, Snakes. I'm gonna give you to the count of ten to get your ugly, yellow, no good Keister out the door with that garbage bag, before I pump your guts full of lead."

I don't know how to spell, "Keister."

Speaking of Holidays, it's not the flipping holidays yet. The malls are now playing Christmas songs. Too soon. Don't make me start a ragtag band of militant turkeys, hellbent on defending Thanksgiving's territory. Someone should make an app. Turkeys vs. Elves. And the Turkeys should win, until Black Friday.

In book related holiday news, there are just about half a billion books I want to read, and want to buy for myself. But isn't there some kind of rule where you're not supposed to buy yourself presents when Christmas is around the corner? Or people will call you "hard to buy for" and say things like, "What do I get you? Everything you want you just get for yourself. You butt hole."

But I want Maggie Stiefvater's THE SCORPIO RACES. And a collection of short stories from one of my professors, LAST FLING by Sue Gee. And I'm getting itchy for the last remaining unread Milan Kundera. Don't even get me started on how badly I want to just give in, buy a baby-sling, and carry around George RR Martin's massively oversized A DANCE WITH DRAGONS.

For those of you looking for a Halloween hangover, try Victoria Schwab's THE NEAR WITCH. I'm finding it a beautiful, witchy, force of nature kind of book. I'm flying through it too fast, and for some reason, it makes me want to watch the Halloween episode of Little House, where everybody thinks Nels murdered Mrs. Oleson. Also, it makes me want freshly baked bread. Mmm. Seriously though, it's good.

This was supposed to be a post about Stephen King movies. Gad. Tangent, much?

10 thoughts on “Tell you what I’m gonna do, Snakes. I’m gonna give you to the count of ten, to get your ugly, yellow

  1. moony

    I just picked up THE SCORPIO RACES and I am reading it v e r y s l o w l y, like how I eat a cupcake so the delicious, cupcakey goodness lasts as long as possible. It’s so, so good. Om nom nom.

    (That probably isn’t helping you resist buying it for yourself, holidays be damned. Sorry.)

    Reply
  2. mindeearnett

    Turkeys -vs- Elves? LMAO!!! So funny.

    And yeah, you’ve got to read the Scorpio Races. It’s freakin’ awesome good, although it made me bawl like a baby. If you don’t get if for yourself, I’m going to have to buy a copy for you. 🙂

    Oh, and The Near Witch is wicked awesome, too. It’s got a long, slow build, but man oh man does it deliver.

    Reply
    1. kendare_blake

      Bawl like a baby? Oh great. I’ve already got a bawl book on my TBR pile…at least I think it might be…A Need So Beautiful, by Suzanne Young.

      You’ve intrigued me. I’m definitely buying it now.

      Reply
  3. Anonymous

    I love Elf and Home Alone.

    I think you should definitely just get Scopio Races. I mean, why not? And if someone calls you hard to buy for, gift certificates to a bookstore is probably a wonderful gift. There. Problem solved. 🙂

    Reply
  4. mindeearnett

    Well, if you love horses in any way shape or form, then you’ll probably cry. She writes about horses so well, and it affected to me on a really personal level. I cried twice. Once out of sheer heartbreak and once out of bittersweet happiness. But I LOVED the book.

    Reply
  5. Anonymous

    the secret circle

    you should watch the tv show “the secret circle”, it’s good, even if his brother “the vampire diaries” (both show have the same executive producer, kevin williamson) is awesome!

    Reply

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